Come and Gone

Christmas has already come and gone and I can't believe how quickly. I always feel like I spend a lot of time preparing for a certain day to come and then it's gone before I can even truly enjoy it. It's sad really. I think I much more prefer the season leading up to Christmas rather than Christmas day itself.

This year was especially bitter because of personal family problems with my dad. Usually family gatherings do end with a bust up between my dad and someone else, but this year he decided to throw in a wrench by not coming at all. In fact, he was on the other side of the planet for reasons unknown.

I picked him up from the airport yesterday. I feel a family meeting coming on.

The Countdown

There are a few things left to pick up that are stressing me out, but overall I'm excited about Christmas. Well, partly excited. My dad isn't around so....

I'm watching Rudolph on tv right now, so hopefully it will cheer me up and get me in the mood.

Merry Christmas everyone. It'll be here and gone before you know it.

Highlights from the Christmas Party

The Axe

Well guys, it seems as though I may lose my job. I haven't been able to stay at a job for more than 2 years without there being a buyout and layoffs. Without whispers abound that the bank may get sold, there's major cost cutting initiatives. Severance packages have been mailed to the local HR reps and it seems like the axe will fall tomorrow.

I will keep you updated.

What Should I Worry About More?

Is it good or bad that I'm more worried about the quality of my Christmas gifts than I am about whether I'll have a job or not in the coming weeks? It's just that being laid off isn't something I can control. I'm sure that senior management will do what they want no matter how good I am at my job. However, if I give a chintzy gift...well, that's all on me.

Dear Brangelina

Dear Brangelina,

You spent Thanksgiving zipping through Ho Chi Minh City on a scooter, taking in the sites, buying souvenirs, and visiting an orphanage. Could I ask you to please, please, please adopt another kid so Asians can be in style again?

Thanks guys!
Sophalopalus

A Few of My Favorite Things

I ventured out into the retail world on Black Friday. I went to the Lancaster outlets while Joe was working and spent about 5 hours picking up stocking stuffers and odds and ends for the Christmas party. And since Joe went camping down at the races yesterday, I spent 9 hours at King of Prussia with mom and Jules. There's tons of cool things for Christmas at King of Prussia, I've listed a few things here to give you some gift ideas.

Sweaters Galore! There are tons of really nice sweaters on sale right now. I got 50% off sweaters at the Gap on Friday, but I saw nice cashmere at Anne Taylor and new styles at Old Navy.

Home Accents. You have to get excited every time Yankee Candle comes out with new scents. And they were buy one, get one half off. Williams-Sonoma has really cute bundt pans in the shape of snowmen, castles, train cars, you name it. Plus boxed gourmet candies for Christmas. This is the place to be for the cook in your family.

Beauty Bounty. I only saw this sale at KoP, but Bath and Body Works had a 5 for $10 deal on all Anti-Bacterial products!!! The price was so good, you had to stock up for yourself and for stocking stuffers. Also, the cosmetics counters were crazy busy everywhere. Sephora, MAC, all the department stores. Mom and Jules got eyeshadow pencils and we were all over the anti-aging products.

Ice It and Get Back in There. Sears had a 50% sale on jewelry so mom and Jules were all over that. Sears was also giving away vegetable peelers when we were on our way out too.

Where Did the Month Go?

How is it already Thanksgiving week? I don't even remember the days after Halloween. And now I feel the onslaught of holiday hustle and bustle. I haven't even given a thought to my Christmas list yet and haven't firmed up the party date to even start the invites. Yikes.

I will probably take off Black Friday. To catch up on the above things and make lists and get my car inspected. It's going to be a crazy holiday season this year.

To Do List:
Make Christmas wish list.
Make gift lists for giftees.
Decide on party date.
Make invites (should I do the sleds again, or just paper?).
Schedule appointment for car inspection.
Make Christmas card list (check for updated addresses).
Make Christmas crafts (soaps, cookies).
Coordinate the shipping of long distance gifts.

What else am I missing?

The Gallows

MSN Slate had this great article on how hangings actually work. I recommend you know your international execution rules, read up on this.

How Do Hangings Work?

Remember Remember, the 5th of November

Just wanted to remind people that yesterday was Guy Fawkes Day (in Britain). You're probably thinking you don't know who that is, but I think you know more than you think. At least, you would recognize his face.

Guy Fawkes was a guy who tried to blow up the House of Parliament and assassinate the king at the time. He was actually caught before either of these happened and was hanged for treason. On this holiday, there are typically bonfires and such to recall the original plan to blow up the HoP.

You may be familiar with this story by the graphic novel or adapted movie "V for Vendetta" in which the story is loosely based.

My Advice on Saving Money, Part 2

The Obvious, Giving Up Life's Little Luxuries
-I don't smoke, but if I did I would quit. If I had a pack-a-day habit, I'd be spending about 4 bucks a day, 28 a week, 112 a month, 1344 a year.

-Stop dining out. Making your own food is always cheaper than getting someone to do it for you, plus tips. But if you have to, go out for lunch instead of dinner, the menu is cheaper. Or just eat half a dinner portion and take the other half home, 2 meals for the price of one!

-Cancel subscriptions. I had to cancel the TV and give up call waiting when I really had to cut the fat. Nowadays Netflix and cable internet (dial up again?!) would be shown the door.

Reverse Psychology: Spending Money In Order to Save Money
-Sometimes you have to pay a little extra money right now so that you save money later. Like moving house. At the time of my unemployment, my apartment was expensive and was about to become even more expensive after the initial 12 months of my lease. So I decided to move to a cheaper apartment. I spent some money for a rental truck and some moving supplies but I easily made that money back with the rent I was saving.

-Pay your bills early. You don't want to rack up late fees and then owe even more, it's counter-productive. But my emphasis on early is the key for loans. See, interest compounds daily on loans so if you pay one day early, that's one day of interest you don't have to pay and one day's worth of interest going towards principle. Same for credit cards, you don't want to be paying interest on a meal you had two weeks ago, it's ludicrous.

Put Your Pride on the Line: Going Generic
-I'm always willing to try a generic version at the grocery store. Sometimes generics are comparable or even better than the brand, hey it happens. And I can pocket that extra money for the rest of my life. Sometimes it's not, and that's okay.

-Giving up meat and in turn, eating more carbs. Meat is expensive, so I cut back on that stuff. I'd buy whole chickens a lot because those are cheap and would stretch for maybe 3 different meals. And buy potatoes by the bag, those things make the littlest scraps of food filling, and really, how many different ways can potatoes be made?

-Shop the discount groceries. Heck, I don't know why everyone doesn't do this but the discount groceries can really save you money. I stocked up on a lot of pantry items: boxed pasta, canned veg, bottled juice. And FYI, you have to pay for grocery bags, so bring your own (I didn't know that the first time I went).

-Learn to sew. Making your own clothes is a cheap way to go, but I was thinking more of mending your clothes. A little more practical and can save you from going out and buying a new $35 sweater. Especially when the electricity bill just happens to cost that exact amount.

-Shop thrift or second hand. I'm just like the next girl, I don't want to look like a school marm, but I can't afford a pair of Sevens if I'm trying to save money. You really have to invest time into looking through the thrift racks but, it can be worth it.

Other Ideas
-Reinvent the stuff around the house. Were you going to toss those old socks? Why not use those as rags instead of paying for those magnetic dust mitts. Shrunk your sweater? Remake them into cute winter gloves or a throw pillow.

-Frisk your furniture. When was the last time you gave your couch the shake down? I swear you not, I found 20 bucks in the couch cushion once. Hand to god. Check table drawers and the clothes in the bottom of your dresser.

-Got one of those jars of loose change? Cash it in! Now!

-Move the money around in your bank accounts. Chances are you could get better interest somewhere else or just in a different account. Yeah, maybe it's a few cents here and there, but they compound and could add up fast.

-Drive less. This was a hard one to get used to. When I had to go out somewhere I would have to take some extra time and think about where I was going and if there was another chore I could accomplish in that same trip. It could potentially save gas money.

My Advice on Saving Money, Part 1

Lately, we've been in major saving mode for several reasons. For a house, for a dog, for a flat screen tv, and so on. So I thought I'd write some advice on squeezing out some extra money from your pockets when you really need it. It works for me now and definitely worked for me during my time in unemployment.

First of all, it helps to evaluate what your goals are. If it's for a house, a car, getting out of debt, whatever it is, make a list of everything you want to accomplish for the next 12 months and estimate how much you need to do it. This helps to set your expectations.

Next, make a budget. Calculate how much money you take home on a monthly basis and then start subtracting all your expenses. Include your rent and your utility bills, but don't forget any monthly subscriptions, student loans, gas, groceries and other things you pay for on a regular monthly basis. What's left is what goes into your savings bucket. Not satisfied with that number? Then stay tuned, I'll detail what I do to cut my expenses to put more in my savings.

This Day in History

I just read on Wikipedia that today in 1958, Belgian cartoonist Peyo introduced The Smurfs in Belgian papers.


I didn't realize there were so many actual Smurfs, but my favorite is still Brainy.

Special Day

Ladies and Gentlemen, today I sent in my last student loan payment! This is something I'm pretty excited about because I'm actually 4 years early. What typically should be done in 10 years, I did in 6!!

Wahoo! [Sophalopalus does jig]

Coat Racks Reunited: Update

The past 2 weeks haven't been so good for the Coat Racks. I've been slipping in the overall ranks, as you can see.

Gameweek 1 33 591,334
Gameweek 2 33 511,248
Gameweek 3 61 237,952
Gameweek 4 49 189,029
Gameweek 5 48 187,749
Gameweek 6 30 286,401
Gameweek 7 35 292,282

Here is my current team:
James, Van der Sar
Campbell, Terry, Mellberg, Primus, Sinclair
Fabregas, Neville, Essien, Young, Bridge
Heskey, Hasselbaink, Saha

I don't get it, it would seem that I have a pretty kick ass team. Anyone got suggestions?

House Beautiful

We're in the throes of finding a new home. Part of me doesn't want to buy a house because I love love love my loft. I wouldn't want to trade it. But there comes a time to put some roots down.

We're in the middle of shoring up a down payment and hope to god that something that strikes us will present itself when we are ready to buy. But we've been casually looking at houses in the meantime, just to see what styles we like and how much house our money can buy nowadays. This has become a really stressful and disappointing hobby, though. Right now there's a house for sale that suits our style, but it's just out of our budget.

Part of me is really nervous about the commitment but part of me is also really excited about having more room and decorating and entertaining. Wish us luck.

Movie Review: Lucky Number Slevin

I like these types of thrillers where they don't let you in on what's really going on until late in the movie. This is what happened in Lucky Number Slevin. It starts out as a film of mistaken identity but near the end, it was all just cleverly planned to seem that way. Jam packed with lots of star actors, and surprisingly everyone's talent didn't go wasted.

Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley, Bruce Willis, Lucy Liu, and Josh Hartnett. I say this is a must see.

4 and a half eggrolls out of 5.

They Don't Do That Anymore

This week: Hypercolor T-shirts.

Remember these as an emerging technology? I never owned one myself, but I think I wish I did. Tell me your fond memories in the comments section.

DE-FENSE!!

This joke never gets old.

Talk Like a Pirate Day!!

Ahoy ye land lubbers! 'Tis Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Nerdify Your Blog in One Step

I just wanted to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Star Trek by posting a pic of my favorite character.

Top 5 Must-See TV (Fall 2006)

1. The Office. Jenna (Pam) says that the season premier of The Office will pick up "in real time". I don't know if that means that we'll see what happens between Jim and Pam or not. But in any case, I'm dying to see what happens. Best show since Friends.

2. My Name Is Earl. So clever, this show. Every single character is so good. I love Randy, love Crabman, love Joy. I just love this show.

3. Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations. See my post on August 20th for all my ass kissing worship of Tony. I love this guy.

4. NFL Football. Really. There's nothing like football weather, crazy fans, buffalo wings, chili, and something good on TV on Sunday nights.

5. Dog Whisperer. You laugh now, but I challenge you to start watching that show and not watch the whole marathon.

Open Cover Letter to Stephen Hawking

Dear Dr. Hawking:

I am responding to the posted open position as your assistant. I realize that you are looking for a graduate student to help you with your travels, studies, lectures and other tasks and I am willing to do all that. I know that the job will requre a lot of physical activity and I've been working out at the gym, so I'm fit to push your wheelchair anywhere. Yes it's true that I have little knowledge in quantum physics, singularity in time-space and black hole mechanics but I can assure you that I can learn pretty quickly. I'm pretty good at math, passed both high school and college calculus. I wasn't so good in physics but I think a second stab at it would prove better results.

You see, Dr. Hawking, you are one of my top ten...nay, top five heroes of all time. And I would be most honored to intern as your assistant for 2 years. My favorite is that time when you looked at the warp core prop on the set of Star Trek and said, "I'm working on that". Although silly, I really believe you could do it if you wanted.

I can send you my resume under separate cover if you think I'm qualified. I just have to make some changes to it so it presents my math skills nicer. I'm looking forward to your call.

Sincerely,
Sophalopalus

Rednecks Are Universal

So the past 2 Saturdays were spent with a German exchange student and his brother. That's always fun meeting nice new people. And what seems to happen with foreign people is that you often compare notes. Like, "do you have these over there?" or "We call that so and so over here."

Well yesterday, we found ourselves explaining the phrase "down by the river". For those of you who've been living under a rock for the past 10 years, that's a phrase popularized by Chris Farley on SNL. Anyway, we tried to explain the breed of river people and that they were often the butt of jokes for their, shall we say, antiquated and rural customs. I likened them to rednecks, to which Norman replied, "Ah yes, we know the rednecks", with a smile.

Fantasy Football Update

Since the last update, I've made 3 transfers to my fantasy team and set up a league so Jules and I can keep tabs on each other better.

My transfers:
Carragher for Mellberg due to injury.
Saha for Crouch
Bridge for Toure

These transfers were probably the best of my career so far. Saha is an ace choice compared to Crouch who hadn't played a minute on the pitch for the first few games. And Bridge was an incredible deal compared to Toure who wasn't getting me the points.

I've also reached my goal of ranking in the top half already. I'm #237,952 out of 856,198 players. In week 3, I gained more points than the overall average and only 1 point less than the overall leader did. Something I'm really excited about.

Book Review: A Long Way Down

By Nick Hornby. Yeah that's the same guy that wrote the book About A Boy that ended up becoming a movie (a good one might I add) starring Hugh Grant.

I have to say this was unexpected subject matter for a beach vacation. I just expected to buy a light reading type of book. But when I saw the author, I figured I had to get it. Besides, I couldn't find any other books that interested me.

Ok, without giving it all away, it's about 4 people who happen to meet at the top of a popular building to commit suicide and what happens when they all decide to stay alive. It reminded me a little of the Real World Series on MTV because these guys certainly didn't make fast friends with each other, they were completely different personalities and backgrounds and reasons for being at the top of the building, ready to take the plunge.

All four characters were great and the reasons they were ready to die ranged from the ridiculous to the "yeah, I would jump too". You just have to read it, trust me it's not all morbid and sad. It's quite entertaining and in the end, you'll be satisfied. I promise.

4 eggrolls out of 5

Coat Racks Reunited

Fantasy 'Football' Team:

GK: Van der Sar; Lehmann
D: Campbell; A Ferdinand; Carragher; Young; Toure
M: Sinclair; Neville; Essien; Reo-Coker; Fabregas
F: Heskey; Hasselbaink; Crouch

I've already transferred Carragher due to injury for Mellberg.
The first week of the season and I have a measly 33 points and ranked somewhere in the bottomhalf in the 500,000's.

Anyone else up for some fantasy footie and see if you can beat me?

Two Cases for AB

I just noticed that 2 of my favorite food/ travel personalities bear the initials A.B. That's Alton Brown and Anthony Bourdain. I own both their books and enjoy their shows for entirely different reasons.

Firstly Alton Brown has always made sense. Like, ok, I get it now. I know why my meat isn't all that tender and now I know what to do about it. He's scientific about things, yes, but that's what's entertaining. He's not one to follow recipes, because once you know how stuff works, you don't need no freakin' recipe! Yahoo, freedom!

Second, Anthony Bourdain is like a food master of the subversive. He takes you to far and away places and really gets to the heart of a city. Never mind doing the usual touristy shit. He wants to take you to the hidden dive underneath an alley, because that's where the locals go and of course, where the food is real. And real good.

Right now, Alton has his normal (encyclopedic in nature) show, Good Eats and now has a new show called Feasting on Asphalt, where he travels to find the food culture of highway restaurants. And don't forget he hosts Iron Chef America too. All shows are on the Food Network.

Anthony Bourdain is currently on the Travel Channel on his show called No Reservations. Tomorrow is a new episode on his trip to Beirut during July and documents his experience there as war started to erupt all around him. It should be a really incredible episode.

This Music Tastes Like Limes

So I dug out of my slow fall into old-peopledom by installing LimeWire on my computer. But I'm not so cool as to install on my A computer, I installed it onto my B computer in case I download something nasty. One of the computers has to take the fall and I don't want it to be my precious laptop.

Now, I feel like I'm young and cool like the rest of you lot.

So anyway, I'm interested in what everyone out there is downloading nowadays. I'll consider any suggestion you make and then maybe post a list of downloads.

The Planet Mars

Hey guys, I wanted to let you know that if you got an email about Mars coming close to Earth this month, don't believe it. It's fake.

This email is just making its rounds again 3 years after it actually happened in August of 2003. And the part where it's suppose to be the size of the moon is quite extraordinary, seeing as though if Mars were ever the size of the moon in the sky, we'd be in some deep doo-doo.

Sorry to spoil the fun.

How Much Fish Can a Cat Handle?

Lookalikes

Apparently, I really like Sweden. A lot.

It's Tony's Line

Remember Tony Slattery? You know, the guy on Who's Line Is It Anyway that was really funny? I almost forgot how funny he was until I caught a few episodes on BBC America. He is so funny.

Mom and Dad Like It Because It's Commercial

My sister sent me an email telling me how her trip to Hawaii was with my parents. She said that mom and dad really liked Oahu, because it's commercial. That's so funny. Yet so true. I remember one time when my mom said she didn't like Rome because it was dirty. Like, they should renovate more often and make the buildings look nice.

Anyway, Jules recommended Kaui for the snorkeling and activities. The food was good and they brought back some cheesy gifts for me. I asked specifically for a beach towel and got a brown beach towel with a graphic of a hula dancer. Don't get me wrong, it is what I asked for, I just wasn't expecting the whole thing to be poop brown. I also got a black "Hawaii" t-shirt with gold embroidering, a poncho, a key chain, a fake Burberry handbag, and a box of chocolate covered macadamia nuts.

You Think Mead is Cool, Don't You?

Yuck! Mead is gross. I don't care if you are one of those Renaissance faire geeks and think that mead is awesome. Or if you're a goth and think anything medieval is sweet. Mead is not cool. It's gross and you are weird for liking it.

Still Waiting for My So-Called Life

It's nice to have Netflix on days you don't have a damn thing to do. And it's nice to finally be updated on the latest and greatest flicks so you don't feel excluded in conversations. But I tend to look for obscure titles that they don't have or titles that are perpetually in the waiting list. This defeats my purpose of subscribing to Netflix.

What's taking so long for me to get the "My So-Called Life" tv series? I can't imagine it's because there's no demand. I want answers!

Conspiracy Theory

My whole theory on Suri Cruise is that there must be something wrong with her. Like a physical deformity or something. If it were some internal problem, her operations would be all over the news and hell, we'd be watching telethons till the cows come home. My guess is that they are embarrassed of her physial deformity which would explain why no one's seen her. Down's Syndrome would be my first guess, but I've got cleft palate and underdeveloped limbs in the running too.

Yo Mama So Old...

Ok, so it took Zidane 3 days to think through things. So it took me 4 days to think through things too.

The truth is, there's no such thing as a yo mama joke in Europe. They just don't have them there. So to tell them that a yo mama joke is a term of endearment or a brotherhood thing, they just won't understand.

But if the scenario Zidane describes was actually meant to be an insult, then I can understand where a headbutt (or in my case, a brick up the side of your head) would be necessary. I come from an Asian family, and family honor is #1. What do you think all those kung fu movies are about anyway? Everything else comes after. And certainly a sporting match comes way after, even if it is the World Cup.

So in my eyes, he was justified. But, of course, it was unfortunate that the whole world had to see it and it happened to be the last match of his well documented career. If it were at any other place at any other time, this wouldn't be headline news.

By the way, yo mama so old, when she went to school there was no history class.

Strange Attraction

For your information, I'm really pulling for a French win on Sunday. I really want Zidane to have his fairy-tale ending. I think he deserves it.

I find myself strangely drawn to the man. He seems like a genuinely normal guy, aside from the fact that he's filthy stinking rich. He has a normal wife and four normal kids. He looks great in clothes, like he could be a model. He looks even greater now that he's shaved his head, which now brings out his rough and tumble facial features. "Rough and tumble" looking guys were never my type, but there's something different about Zizou. It just suits him.

But I also get the feeling that behind the tough exterior, that he's a softy inside. Photos of him with his kids are so adorable. And then there are some cultural parallels that I feel like I share with him.

He's a child of Algerian immigrants, raised in Marseilles. The Algerian national team didn't want him because "he wasn't fast enough". So he chose to play for France. Yet the French president (underscore, emphasize, bold) said that more and more, he can't recognize a French face on the team. (The top players in the team are of non-French heritage) Talk about not being wanted!

Anyway, sometimes I feel like that just walking the streets in my own small town neighborhood. Being a minority sucks sometimes, like you're constantly being singled out as different. Yet I know that if I went to Vietnam, I would instantly be recognized as non-vietnamese. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong anywhere and anywhere I go, they won't see me as being one of them.

So the sense of belonging and doing something to show everyone that you belong somewhere is something I feel like Zidane is out there proving, with quite remarkable results. Being touted as possibly the best in the world of all time is no small feat. If only I could be as successful.

Anyway, Go France! Go Zizou!

I Know Nothing

It's official. My World Cup bracket sucks. None of my picks for the Semifinals made it through. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I don't.

My picks = Argentina, Czech Republic, England, Brazil.
Reality = Germany, Italy, Portugal, France.

Boy was I wrong about Czech Republic, they never even made it out of Group round. And I never factored France or Portugal to be in it at all. What the hell do I know? But looking at the final four, I think all four teams deserve to be there. It's going to be tough matches ahead.

You should log onto Boom Chicago to see The Unlikely Fan's World Cup videos. Daily commentary on the World Cup...It's hilarious.

God Save the Queen

God save our gracious Queen
Long live our noble queen
God save the queen
Send her victorious
Happy and glorious
Long to reign over us
God Save the Queen

Thy choicest gifts in store
On her be pleased to pour
Long may she reign
May she defend our laws
And ever give us cause
To sing with heart and voice
God save the Queen

COME ON ENGLAND!!!

The Hand of God

This is what Argentina needed today to win against Germany when Pekerman made some awful substitutions early in the game.

Messi and Saviola did not start. What!?
Then Abbondanzieri gets injured and has to sub out at a crucial time in the match. And then they sub out Riquelme?????? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!!!!!!

I had Argentina going all the way this year. ALL. THE. WAY.
I wouldn't have made this prediction if I knew their manager was a complete loon. Why do you sub out Riquelme when there's still 20 minutes and Ballack, Podolski, and Klose are still on the pitch?
I bet you feel like a real ass when minutes later, Klose equalizes.

And now you have to play extra time without your A game.

And now you are pitting Jens Lehman against your second goalkeeper? No contest. I knew what was going to happen when I saw your substitutions. I just knew it.

Way to go Pekerman. You blew it.

Breaking the Law!

Yes, he made a conscious decision not to get a license this year. Yes, it was a Sunday night. Yes, I was with him, of all days. So of course we got caught for fishing without a license. It was our fault and we admit it. But we've learned our lesson (a costly decision at $112 each), that even though a park ranger has never actually been seen monitoring the park in your entire life, you will get caught on the day you don't have one.

They're Dropping Like Flies

This past weekend, I attended one of Joe's cousin's wedding. Ryan was the last of the Metzger grandkids that was to get married in the family. Excuse me, SECOND to last. The last would be us. And boy did we know it. Every aunt and uncle made it a point to tell us that we were next to be married. Oy vey!

Patience, people! I promise your patience will be rewarded.

Let the Bounties Begin!!

I always liked international sports competition. I love the idea of pitting nation against nation in a non political way. Y'know? Love the Olympics. I remember cutting pieces of paper and sharpening my crayons to make flags of the countries that marched in the opening ceremonies.

And so too do I feel excitement when the World Cup comes around. I get all jittery when a country's hopes and dreams come down to one penalty kick. And all the pressure that kicker has on his shoulders can be unbearable, to the point where I feel bad for the guy that misses it. You know deep down in your heart that not only did he lose the game for the team, he also lost the game for a whole country.

And that's where the world talley of bounties rises. Let's face it, players have mysteriously died after losing games. And somewhere in a dark alley, bounty killers are making a buck. No one in the neighborhood wants to give up information on someone's offing. Noooo way.

I'll be keeping tabs on the South American teams during this competition. And keeping my fingers crossed that none of their games will have to come to a sudden death shoot out. Because it could indeed be sudden death for them, one way or another.

Movie Review: Everything Is Illuminated

Straight off the bat, I'm giving this movie 5 eggrolls out of 5. This movie is totally premium and does not have the shit between its ears.

Jonathan (Elijah Wood) is a young Jewish man on a journey to Ukraine in search of a lady he does not know about. With the help of a dodgy translator, Alex, his blind grandfather, also named Alex, and his seeing eye bitch, Jonathan finds how his grandfather was saved from Nazi invaders.

Although Elijah Wood is actually credited as the lead in the movie, I have to say that the main character to me is actually Alex, the translator. Played by Eugene Hutz (who is also the lead singer of gypsy punk band Gogol Bordello), Alex is a city kid with swagger. He likes American music and clothing, but his stodgy English can be attributed to Roget's thesaurus. He's also the narrator throughout the movie and while Jonathan is on a journey to find the lady that saved his grandfather, Alex makes some discoveries for himself.

This one packs comedy and drama all into one neat little package without seeming forced. Probably the only movie I can sit through that has strong Jewish/ Nazi themes. I highly recommend it and by the way, the movie is based on a novel by Jonathan Safran Foer (the "main character") and is the directorial debut of fellow actor Liev Schreiber (Scream, Manchurian Candidate, The Omen).

On a side note, Eugene Hutz was initially casted because he was Ukrainian but was able to finagle his band into a cameo. Russian folk music (which is quite fun to listen to) is laced throughout.

York County Has Pirates. Sort Of.

For realz, I saw a guy get into his car today. But the funny part is that he had an eye patch. Like, he wasn't trying to be a pirate. He really had an eye patch. Really.

I was thinking to myself as I watched him from my rear view mirror, "Really? You're going to drive that car? With one eye? Wow."

Language of Origin and Root Words

I will admit right up front that I would have been knocked out of the very early rounds of this year's national spelling bee. They aren't what they use to be back when I was in grade school. Nowadays, spelling bees are heavy on the medical jargon and foreign words adapted into the English language. Take for example the winning word and the 2nd place word: ursprache and weltschmerz. Both German words that have no English equivalents. I mean, they would have never done that 15 years ago. Words that I had to spell seem elementary compared. One time I actually won on the word "generosity". Way too easy compared to these spelling superheroes.

The passively competitive edge in me really wants to read up on some difficult words so I can feel like an 8th grader again.

A Weekend With My Parents

Really nowadays, I judge the success of a day with my parents by whether or not I come out alive on the other end. I had to spend the whole Memorial Day weekend with them and a good chunk of that time was in a minivan.

But I got to see my grampa for his 80th birthday party, which is probably the last time I'll see him.

Nevertheless, my mom and dad are your typical crazy parents with your typical crazy idiocyncracies. Like getting all worked up when playing cards. My dad gets all crazed in the eye when people play cards. And he acts like he knows how to "beat the system". And then my mom tells us that you have to show everyone how successful you are by dressing up and driving a fancy car at all times. That's just the tip of the iceberg, you have no idea what lies underneath.

Day of Rockoning: A Hypothetical Match Up Between American Idol's Taylor Hicks and Eurovision's Lordi

Take a good look at these musical reality TV contest winners and tell me who you think would come out of an epic battle in one piece.

Dave Chappelle vs. Chris Rock

Hands down, I think Chris is way funnier than Dave. I was fortunate to watch both men's stand up comedy DVD's back to back and Chris has better content. I totally get all the set ups and all the punchlines. I feel like I'm in the loop. And feeling like part of the gang is important to me. Er....

This I Know For Sure

Between you and me, we've agreed that in the song "Every Day is Exactly the Same", Trent Reznor is saying:

I used to have a porpoise

in the opening lines.

It's True.

I dye my hair black so I look more Asian. Sometimes I get the red or "orange" (and you know what I mean) highlights so I look like a hipster Asian.

Delayed Reaction

I know this is way past it's prime, but I just wanted to mention how bummed I was when I heard Rivers Cuomo got married. I had it in my mind in high school that I would meet him and we'd live like two peas in a pod. Unfortunately, some other Asian girl beat me to the punch and they married a few months ago.

On The Street

(ring ring)

Andy: Hey
Me: Hey what's up?
Andy: I beeped at some chick on the street with a hot ass and realized it was you.
Me: Oh that was you?
Andy: But you're probably used to that in the city, huh?
Me: Yeah, no kidding.

Movie Review: The 'Burbs

I've come to the conclusion that I much prefer the comedic version of Tom Hanks over the dramatic version. I always liked him in Splash, I saw that movie more than once. So I thought The 'Burbs kinda followed in the same vein.

I think the funniest scene was when the dog digs up a femur from the neighbors' back yard. When Tom's character and the neighbor starts yelling...and then they keep yelling...and then he keeps yelling, I really think that's funny for whatever reason.

Tom Hanks, I give you 4 eggrolls for The 'Burbs.

The Last Stand

In anticipation of X-Men 3, I like asking the question on everyone's mind. If you had a superpower, what would it be and why?

I'm torn between the self healing mutation (like Wolverine) and mind control (Professor X/ Jean Grey rock my world). I just can't decide. But I can tell you that I'd sure as hell be pissed if I got stuck with some lame ass mutation like just being big, burly and strong.

Anyway, I was just wondering what everyone else would pick.

Hey You! Yeah You! Go Fug Yourself!

Like fashion? Better yet, like fashion faux pas? Well have I got a site for you,honey.

Go Fug Yourself

Quintessential France

Years ago, I went on a family trip to France and the clever tour guide did one over on us. While explaining a very French thing to do in Paris, he pointed to the right side of tour bus at the Parisians outside sitting at small tables at the bistro. People watching. It's underrated here in America. Most people eat and go, never tasting their food or enjoying the time. It seemed so French, so clever, so essential to the ideal of joie de vivre.

And then he said there was something even more French. Just look to your left. And there it was. He was so clever to distract us with the bistros that we never noticed we had just pulled straight up to the Eiffel Tower. A move so clever, it produced gasps and oohs all around. A majestic site for sore eyes, I must say.

Nice One, Mate

Last week, Joe and I went to see the Supersuckers. And for some reason he thought 2 beer koozies for $5 was an incredible idea. Nevermind the fact that the slender beer bottles didn't fit the koozies that night, hey, they kept our brews cold throughout the show.

I can't attest to how good the show was. I was too tired to focus and I can't actually remember any of the show that night. But Joe has promised me that was great. Something about the Supersuckers Drive-By Blues, awesome, and sweet leads me to such a conclusion.

Let's "FACE" It

My mom's had some work done.

Therefore I will get some work done.

Nothing major. She just had a chemical peel, teeth bonded, eyebrows tattooed. The most major thing was the time she got that crease stitched into her eyelids. For one reason or another, when I tell people that my mom did these things they think it's weird. Like, "Only people in Hollywood do that stuff." But to me, it's not as bad as getting major work done like liposuction or implants. The other stuff just makes sense to me.

So there will be a day when I do some home improvement. I already have a list, in no particular order.

Teeth bleached
Underbite fixed
If there's laser surgery for cellulite, sign me up.

As my body changes through the years, I'm sure I will have different items on this list, but this is just for now.

ICE IT ... and get back in there!

I'm obsessed with this tag line. I pass by this print ad at Dunkin' Donuts every morning and I love it. LOVE IT!!!

The Little Apple

After spending 2 days in NYC under the wing of Dan the Man, I feel like the big intimidating city of New York isn't as big after all. I still have bad sense of direction and still didn't understand where I was going, but walking in the same neighborhood over and over again definitely helped me feel not so small.

There is definitely one thing for sure, there's too much to do. I felt like I wasn't doing what I wanted to do during my visit, but only because the choices are never ending. And if something didn't pan out, it didn't ruin your evening. Deciding on what to eat...forget it. You might as well agree to come up with a system to choose restaurants for you. But it's all the reason to keep coming back.

Among the highlights include strolling Central Park, going to 2 Broadway shows, pushing through Times Square, and trying to identify the celebrity on the blue carpet. And things went quite cheaply. All this really made me realize that the city wasn't for crazy people. Like, hey, this place is actually habitable. I could live here.

Maybe next time, I'll make it to downtown, eat at both Tiny Thai and Cozy Thai, do some shopping, and take in another museum.

Goat Days

Rainy weekends are disappointing for me. After staying in an office all week, I look forward to spending the weekends enjoying the sunshine. Today it is raining but it gives me good reason to clean the house and organize all the things that are lying around.

Here is my "to do" list:
1) vacuum upstairs
2) clean the cat puke I missed earlier this week
3) clean the bath tub
4) go thru the mail and pitch trash
5) put important papers in pile for filing
6) fold laundry
7) paint fingernails

What the Hell is That???

This is scary!!! Where is Wallace and Gromit when you need them?

Cartoon Sophalopalus

Yahoo gives you a chance to create an avatar. It's pretty cool. Think it looks like me?

Random Shite #8

I noticed those little orange and white striped signs on the side of 83 today. I suppose that means construction will soon start and PennDOT will make my daily commute royally shitty.

Anything tastes better when it's made with bacon.

I never have luck at the pump when I'm filling up. I seem to be attracted to the most expensive gas stations in York County.

Things I Highly Doubt:

The existence of "get rich quick" schemes
The reunion of Smashing Pumpkins
Me winning Powerball
Me getting a tax refund this year

I Have a Reservation

Tony Bourdain is the host of this travel show (Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations) that concentrates on the food culture of the featured destination. Man, this show is good. Tony seems like the kind of cool guy you'd want to hang out with. And he always seems to find the greatest places to eat and experience the night life.

a) He's irreverant.
b) He doesn't always think the food is great.
c) His sarcasm speaks to me like a flaming pie.
d) He always likes to mention that his all-time favorite band is the Ramones.
e) If there's a segment that's going south, his remedy is to find a bar and drink.

You need to Tivo this show.

In other news, I'm going to NYC at the end of the month. Maybe I'll track down Tony's restaurant and see what he can do.

Movie Review: Trois Couleurs

We're waist deep in the middle of this French trilogy. So far we've seen Bleu, which is about this lady that loses her husband and child in a car accident and the measures she takes to start a new life. I'm on the fence on whether this installment was enigmatic or totally boring.

Then there was Blanc, which is about this guy that finds himself divorced from his wife that he still loves and the measures he takes to prove his love and get her back. It's quite twisted in the end and much more entertaining than Bleu. You even see little bits of Bleu woven into Blanc as certain shared scenes come and go throughout the movie.

We're waiting on Rouge to come in the mail, with the expectation that things will be tied together neatly by the end. We shall see, you never know with these artsy fartsy French films.

So far: 3 eggrolls.

Jack Black is Like Buttah

Jack Black's wit and wisdom makes everything better. Take for example, the Kids' Choice Awards. Had I known he was host, I would've watched.

And take also, a pilot episode in 1999 of a show created by then-nobody Ben Stiller that got rejected by Fox. It's called Heat Vision and Jack. The title alone might have been indicative of a loser, but take a closer look and it actually starred Jack Black and Owen Wilson's voice. Again, had I known he was in it, I would've watched (that is, if Fox would've also serialized this awesome show).



Heat Vision and Jack

Canada 2006

I have pictures of our trip to Canada on the internet. There were a ton more pictures on the camera than I put up, but these were the highlights. If you are truly interested in seeing the other pictures, just imagine more of the same and then just add 3 feet of snow.

Canada 2006

The Trifecta of Fashion

In high school, I watched a lot of Fashion TV on VH1. I knew what real fashion was then. I don't know a good pair of Jimmy Choos from Payless anymore, but if Fashion TV was still on, I think I'd be the chic-est girl on the block.

There were 3 people on that show that guided me to expensive taste:
Elsa Klensch
Andre Leon Talley
Anna Wintour

They made me wish I could afford a John Galliano or a Badgley Mishka. They made me wish I was Eva Herzigova in a slinky Herve Leger. They made me believe that the models were from another planet.

Quick. Name All the Hip Hop Groups You Can.

Remember back in the 90's when you could name all the hip-hop acts on 2 hands? There weren't enough acts that they had only a one hour show dedicated to hip hop (Yo! MTV Raps, for those of you who don't remember).

Today, there are literally as many hip hop acts as there are rock acts. Way too many to keep track of. And now they have their own channel.

You know what - good for them. I'm glad that they've come into their own and became legit. They even have different styles of rap. Like how rock could be broken down to modern rock, alternative, goth/industrial, etc. There's like gangsta rap, old skool...different sub-genres. It's crazy.

The Mozzer Finds a Reason to Live

Is anyone else here as surprised as I am that Morrissey is still alive? When I was about 14, I was so sure that I'd see a tribute article in Select magazine celebrating the genius of a guy that is possibly the most miserable git on the face of the planet. Of course, it wouldn't be an easy death. Morrissey is the type of guy that would go for the suffering. Something like hanging or drowning would only do for the Mozzer.

[I am also surprised that Dave Gahan has narrowly escaped death by his own hand on several occasions, but that's a whole other blog all together.]

And yet Morrissey this time around has finally found a reason to live. And then decides to sing about you-know-what. Yeah. I can't believe it either. Never in my lifetime would I peg Morrissey for being happy or finding sex. Yeah, the most asexual guy on the planet sings about a good old romp. Who would ever guess? But he did it on his newest album, Ringleader of the Tormentors, due out in 2 weeks. You can actually preview the entire album right now on MySpace.

I've never been a big Morrissey fan. I like the radio singles and that's about it. Although I'm happy for his newfound happiness and love, I think I'm just gonna wait for his greatest hits album.

New Goal

Ok, so I've failed miserably at completing my goals from the beginning of the year. I just haven't had time to devote space to Cutlery Corner or post pictures (mostly, I just don't have any worthy pics to post). So it's time to state some new things to accomplish for the summer.

Create Summer Concert Series 2006 (aka Peepo Stock)

I've just had a craving to go to shows lately. Something I really enjoyed doing back in the day that I haven't been doing lately. I haven't been listening to cool new music lately, mostly because cool new music is near impossible to find on the radio or on TV. But since Joe got Sirius, I've been hearing some decent stuff. So I guess I was wrong about the state of affairs in the music industry. There's stuff out there, you just have to find it. Plus, the bands I like are either aging or becoming irrelevant or breaking up. So let's get started.

* Gogol Bordello play at the Troc in April. Aaron and Alisha love them, so this is a likely starter for the summer series.

* Fall Out Boy, Hawthorne Heights, All American Rejects play in Hershey in May. Yeah, these are C-list bands right now. Yeah, the concert is on a Wednesday. So a more likely choice for May could be...

* HFStival. This year this concert is allegedly at Merriweather, which is cool. I like Merriweather. Line-up is still in the rumors and wishlist phases, but this would be a great opportunity to see some great favorites and some new up and comers. Some of the rumored include Smashing Pumpkins or Chili Peppers or Dave Matthews. But on the more interesting note, Angels & Airwaves, Depeche Mode, The Strokes are also rumored to be there.

I haven't seen any interesting bands playing out towards June and July, but I'm looking. I'm getting excited about the prospects of making this a fun summer.

Out of Office Assistant

We're off to Canada next week. Take some time to soak in some cool clean air. Taste some glacial water. Relax in a remote town where no one speaks English. We'll get a chance to head up to Saint Sauveur for some snowboarding and see how much I've really learned this year.

This will be the first time we'll see little Isadora. Play with Gabby and see how the barn is coming along. We're going to have lots of fun.

I always always always freak out before a trip. Even though it's no big deal if I forget something and I can always just go out and buy an extra pair of pants or something, I feel like there is never enough planning to do ahead of time. Right after this I'm going to start putting together mix-n-match outfits for the week, so I can save space in my duffle. Toiletries. Sleeping clothes. Snowboarding equipment. Clearing out the fridge. Getting the cats' stuff packed for boarding. Light cleaning (I like coming home to a clean apartment). Charge the batteries. Pick out CDs. Launder clothes I want to bring.

Ugh, I gotta go. I gotta get started.

Sushi

Sushi eaters in my area are funny. They still treat it as a novelty instead of just going somewhere to eat food. This is usually how an outing goes:

First you need a group of people, but there are times I've seen just 2 people at a table. One person out of the group is the designated sushi expert and within 5 minutes becomes the designated Japanese culture expert. The only apparent qualification to gaining this designation is that you have eaten sushi at least once before. The expert makes suggestions as to what is good to eat and what things are probably most like regular American food. The rest of the group listen attentively and then start discussing the menu choices they are about to make. And then comes the safety net.

Typically, newbies are unsure they will like salmon and tuna in their raw form. So they also ponder the hibachi choices. You know, just in case.

When the food comes out, this always happens. Everybody asks what everyone else ordered and then stares at it. But let me make the distinction here between this situation in a sushi restaurant and this situation at an American restaurant. At your common steak house, you may ask your friend what they ordered and you may even ask if it's good. But you never ask if it's good and then watch them take a bite to see if they go choking out of their chair. That's the difference. At sushi restaurants, people here watch the expert eat their piece first and wait to see if everything is ok before they attempt their own piece. It's just a look on their face that makes this situation different.

The rest of the meal also usually incorporates more conversation about the food (at the steak house, you ask if it's good and then you move on to normal conversation topics) and then here is where the expert whips out Japanese culture as if they used to live there.

"You're suppose to eat the beans, not the whole pod, silly."
"Wasabi is pretty strong so be careful. It's actually a vegetable, did you know that?"
"There's tofu in your soup. It's really good though, you should try it."
"You just put it in your mouth and it clears your palate for the next piece. That's how the Japanese use it."

This goes on throughout the entire meal until they leave. I've been witnessing this over and over again to the point of wondering when people will ever just get over it and just eat the stuff.

Random Shite #7

One time my mom told me about a party she went to and they served slices of ham and cheese rolled together, cigar-style. She explained this to me with such zeal that you'd think she invented it. Joe tried really hard not to laugh.

Watching Jimmy Roberts' Olympic Moments is pretty much the same as watching Oprah. They're all sad stories that end up making me shed tears. Today's tear jerker was that of a young Turkish figure skater and the major sacrifices her parents made for her to pursue skating. Sniff sniff.

It ended up that the new job thing didn't work out. The money wasn't there and I can't really switch jobs for less money. We agreed to look at the opportunity again further down the road.

New Strategy for Shutting Down Wal-Mart

If you still shop at Wal-Mart for whatever reason (it's convenient, they have everything I need, it's affordable), there may be a reason to stop. If the fall of America isn't from the war, there may soon be a new reason. See if you can follow me on this.

Human cases of the deadly H5N1 virus (bird flu) has been documented in Iraq. Human cases, people! And how many American troops do we have in Iraq? Thousands? Well, every plane full of returning soldiers holds the potential of carrying those buggers back to the USA. And where will the virus show up?

Wal-Mart

Let's think about this for a moment.

When an American soldier returns to his home, what is the first thing he will do? The most American you can do, of course. Go to Wal-Mart. Any day now, bird flu will be tranmittable from human to human. And when that day comes, Wal-Mart will be teaming with virus within hours. And how many people walk through the doors of Wal-Mart on an hourly basis?

You get the drift.

Let's all do our part and stop going to Wal-Mart. The economy...and your health may depend on it.

CONSPIRACY!!

Something very strange happened to my blog about Wal-Mart. It mysteriously disappeared.

I will try to re-create the blog and re-publish. Damn you, censors!

Moving Up the Corporate Ladder

I'm totally stressed out lately. I have a major work dilemma. Never in my life have I ever had to quit a job because I had options. Usually I was being let go because of a merger or I had to leave because I was going away to college. You know, there were outside factors leading to my change in jobs. But I never left a job because I could. Well, that's my dilemma.

A former co-worker has offered me a position to work with her. She's in charge of way too many departments at the new place and needs help. This would normally be an easy decision but the problem is that I've begun to like my job and I really like my boss. There's a good bit of convenience since there is an office for me to work in across the street. Plus, it took a while to finally feel comfortable at my job and I would hate to uproot and try to fit into a new place. Yes, change scares me.

So that's my dilemma and I don't know what I want to do. I don't want to pass up a can't miss opportunity but I also feel like I'm not done with my current job yet.

Macarena is listed...TWICE!!!

If you ask me, this list is way lame. But here goes...

The Rules:

For this one, you need to go to musicoutfitters.com and type the year you graduated from high school into the search box.

Click on the link “Top 100 hits of… (your graduation year)” and cut and paste the results into your blog.

Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate and underline your favourite. Do nothing to the ones you don’t remember (or don’t care about)

Top 100 Hits of 1996 / Top 100 Songs of 1996

1. Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix), Los Del Rio
2. One Sweet Day, Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men
3. Because You Loved Me, Celine Dion
4. Nobody Knows, Tony Rich Project
5. Always Be My Baby, Mariah Carey
6. Give Me One Reason, Tracy Chapman
7. Tha Crossroads, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony
8. I Love You Always Forever, Donna Lewis
9. You're Makin' Me High / Let It Flow, Toni Braxton
10. Twisted, Keith Sweat
11. C'mon N' Ride It (The Train), Quad City Dj's
12. Missing, Everything But The Girl
13. Ironic, Alanis Morissette
14. Exhale (Shoop Shoop), Whitney Houston
15. Follow You Down / Til I Hear It From You, Gin Blossoms
16. Sittin' Up In My Room, Brandy
17. How Do U Want It / California Love, 2Pac
18. It's All Coming Back To Me Now, Celine Dion
19. Change The World, Eric Clapton
20. Hey Lover, LL Cool J
21. Loungin, LL Cool J
22. Insensitive, Jann Arden
23. Be My Lover, La Bouche
24. Name, Goo Goo Dolls
25. Who Will Save Your Soul, Jewel
26. Where Do You Go, No Mercy
27. I Can't Sleep Baby (If I), R. Kelly
28. Counting Blue Cars, Dishwalla
29. You Learn / You Oughta Know, Alanis Morissette
30. One Of Us, Joan Osborne
31. Wonder, Natalie Merchant
32. Not Gon' Cry, Mary J. Blige
33. Gangsta's Paradise, Coolio
34. Only You, 112 Featuring The Notorious B.I.G.
35. Down Low (Nobody Has To Know), R. Kelly
36. You're The One, SWV
37. Sweet Dreams, La Bouche
38. Before You Walk Out Of My Life / Like This And Like That, Monica
39. Breakfast At Tiffany's, Deep Blue Something
40. 1, 2, 3, 4 (Sumpin' New), Coolio
41. The World I Know, Collective Soul
42. No Diggity, BLACKstreet (Featuring Dr. Dre)
43. Anything, 3t
44. 1979, The Smashing Pumpkins
45. Diggin' On You, TLC
46. Why I Love You So Much / Ain't Nobody, Monica
47. Kissin' You, Total
48. Count On Me, Whitney Houston and Cece Winans
49. Fantasy, Mariah Carey
50. Time, Hootie and The Blowfish
51. You'll See, Madonna
52. Last Night, Az Yet
53. Mouth, Merril Bainbridge
54. The Earth, The Sun, The Rain, Color Me Badd
55. All The Things (Your Man Won't Do), Joe
56. Wonderwall, Oasis
57. Woo-hah!! Got You All In Check / Everything Remains Raw, Busta Rhymes
58. Tell Me, Groove Theory
59. Elevators (Me and You), Outkast
60. Hook, Blues Traveler
61. Doin It, LL Cool J
62. Fastlove, George Michael
63. Touch Me Tease Me, Case Featuring Foxxy Brown
64. Tonite's Tha Night, Kris Kross
65. Children, Robert Miles
66. Theme From Mission: Impossible, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen 67. Closer To Free, Bodeans
68. Just A Girl, No Doubt
69. If Your Girl Only Knew, Aaliyah
70. Lady, D'angelo
71. Key West Intermezzo (I Saw You First), John Mellencamp
72. Pony, Ginuwine
73. Nobody, Keith Sweat
74. Old Man and Me (When I Get To Heaven), Hootie and The Blowfish
75. If It Makes You Happy, Sheryl Crow
76. As I Lay Me Down, Sophie B. Hawkins
77. Keep On, Keepin' On, Mc Lyte
78. Jealousy, Natalie Merchant
79. I Want To Come Over, Melissa Etheridge
80. Who Do U Love, Deborah Cox
81. Un-Break My Heart, Toni Braxton
82. This Is Your Night, Amber
83. You Remind Me Of Something, R. Kelly
84. Runaway, Janet Jackson
85. Set U Free, Planet Soul
86. Hit Me Off, New Edition
87. No One Else, Total
88. My Boo, Ghost Town Dj's
89. Get Money, Junior M.A.F.I.A.
90. That Girl, Maxi Priest Featuring Shaggy
91. Po Pimp, Do Or Die
92. Until It Sleeps, Metallica
93. Hay, Crucial Conflict
94. Beautiful Life, Ace Of Base
95. Back For Good, Take That
96. I Got Id / Long Road, Pearl Jam
97. Soon As I Get Home, Faith Evans
98. Macarena, Los Del Rio
99. Only Wanna Be With You, Hootie and The Blowfish
100. Don't Cry, Seal

And The #1 Reason to Have A Camera Phone...

Just a few minutes ago, Joe and I were driving on Tyler Run Road when we saw flashing lights. Police Activity. But it's not what you think. A limo got beached on an incline trying to pull out of a driveway (or back into it, whichever).

Just when you think having a camera phone was a complete waste. We would've drove through extra slow and made sure those people saw us take their picture while laughing hysterically.

But alas, no camera phone, so I can't share with you the true hilarity of the situation. Sorry folks.

TNG

As in Star Trek: The Next Generation. Duh.

I was totally into TNG in my high school years. Every single episode was awesome in an after-school special kind of way. And who couldn't resist all those kick ass characters?


Who was the genius that told LeVar Burton to wear a banana clip over his eyes? BRILLIANT! I was so fascinated by the huge hive of hair the counselor had on her head, I would mentally debate whether it was real or just a wig. I was totally into Data, of all people. He was so smart and had such a curious personality. Warf was cool with his weird butt-like forehead. And of course, Capt. Jean-Luc Picard. He was the ultimate in sultry leadership.

This show rocks!

Pop Culture Files: Case Number 001

You might remember the totally heinous album by Stone Temple Pilots called Purple.

What you might not know about the cover art is that it was nicked from a Chinese red envelope given to children during Lunar New Year.

The Girl Who Spelled Freedom

When I was in 6th or 7th grade, I really related to this movie. It's about a girl from Southeast Asia who comes to America and becomes a spelling bee champ. I'm not FOB, but I am Asian and I did win some spelling bees in my day.

These Things Actually Happened to Me

While in Italy, a trio of Italian strangers asked if they could have a photo with me in front of the Spanish Steps. They obviously thought I was another famous movie star...ha!

Joe's off kilter uncle, upon meeting me, asked me what the exchange rate with the yen was nowadays.

A complete stranger attempted to speak Chinese to me at a bar, in front of a bunch of people. I had the dubious honor of telling him I had no idea what he said.

A crazy guy on a bike stopped me during my lunch time walk to ask me whether I was half Mexican.

Those Germans Have the Right Idea

While beer may be regarded in the USA as a drug just a few notches down the intoxicant ladder from heroin, it is more or less considered a soft drink in Germany.

Witness the hearty German construction worker knocking back a can of Pilsner on the underground on the way to work, having another with lunch, then celebrating the end of the working day with a third (brought along, with admirable foresight, in his knapsack) on the way home.

Expatica

Movie Review: The Station Agent

This was a good movie Joe and I rented thru Netflix and we were pleasantly surprised. It's about a midget named Finn who inherits an abandoned train depot. He tries to live a quiet life but ends up meeting a hot dog vendor and an unhinged artsy lady. That's about all I can tell you, there isn't really much more to the movie than that. But don't take it as though it's a boring movie, it's actually very good and you'll grow to like Finn as a person instead of treat him as a novelty.

This movie gets 4 eggrolls out of 5.

Random Shite #6

Harrisburg is the capitOl of Pennsylvania. Not the capitAl. That misspelling is all over Harrisburg (yes, even highway signs) and it drives me nuts!!!!!

I'm changing my movie review ratings. After hearing a story from Joe about Sirius radio's Wiseguys, I'm going to start using eggrolls to rate movies. Stay tuned for my review of The Station Agent.

MySpace is a bunch of crap! And yet there are a lot of people that use it. They just don't know the true power of Blogger. On a side note, I've added Joe's MySpace site to my links. Eh, go and see for yourself. Crap I tell you!

I have off for Martin Luther King Jr day and I plan to help Jules move apartments. If she so wishes for me to help her, that is. Other than that, possibly snowboard on some patchy hills and hopefully not bust my ass again. I took a nasty face plant on Monday.

Also, I'm blowing the cover and letting everyone know that there's a surprise birthday party for Manoni on Sunday. Expect a motley crue of folks coming by and partying on a Sunday night. I just noticed how old that makes me feel.

Sophalopalus, From A to Z

A is for Age:
27. I don't know how that happened.

B is for Booze of choice:
Bailey's on ice. But I drink cap'n'coke more often.

C is for Career:
Copy and Paster, frequent Button Pusher and Mouse Clicker.

D is for your Dog's name:
Dog's name would be Pibber, if only he existed.

E is for Essential items you use every day:
Couch. I can do just about anything on my big cushy couch.

F is for Favorite song at the moment:
Seriously? [Sigh] Uh, the first thing that popped in my mind is MCR's "I'm Not Okay".

G is for favorite Games:
I like Texas Hold 'Em a lot. But if I had to go old skool, I'd choose Centipede.

H is for Hometown:
York

I is for Instruments you play:
No instruments.

J is for Jam or Jelly you like:
I don't eat jam that often but if I had to choose, I'd pick strawberry.

K is for Kids:
No kids.

L is for Last kiss:
I'm sick so it had to be before Wednesday. Probably New Years Eve.

M is for Most admired trait:
Most people say I have the shiniest hair.

N is for Name of your crush:
Crush? Ha, that's just silly.

O is for Overnight hospital stays:
No hospital stays.

P is for phobias:
Drowning.

Q is for quotes you like:
"Let's get plastered and modify stuff".

R is for biggest Regret:
When Coach asked the class who doesn't want a class song, I should've raised my hand.

S is for Sweets of your choice:
I like fruity gummy candy.

T is for Time you wake up:
Alarm goes off at 6:30. I get out of bed at, like, 8:00.

U is for Underwear:
What's the question?

V is for Vegetable you love:
Cucumber

W is for Worst Habit:
Jittery legs.

X is for X-rays you've had:
My arms once. My upper and lower back multiple times. I have a lot of bone deformities.

Y is for Yummy food you make:
Egg rolls and ribs.

Z is for Zodiac sign:
Cancer

Review: Bubba Ho-Tep

It's about a nursing home that's haunted by a mummy who's looking for souls to suck through the butt. Who's gonna bust the living dead in this Texas home? Well, an elderly Elvis, of course. He's mistaken as one of those Elvis impersonators but the only person who believes he's really Elvis is a black man... who happens to think he's JFK.

The movie is sort of funny. The funniest bits are when the black man explains how he could possibly be JFK. They dyed him black to protect him from the assassins looking to finish him off and he's got a bag of sand for a brain.

If you're not into that kind of humor, this is probably not for you. But this one is worth renting.

Stabby McKnife

This year, I promise to do the following...

1. I'm going to start posting pictures. For real. I know, I've actually posted blogs referring to pictures that aren't even there. But for real now, in 2006 I'm really going to post pictures.

2. I'm going to start a fan page for these guys at Cutlery Corner. C'mon have you seen this show??? You don't know what you're missing. PAXTV channel 76 in my area at about 2:30 in the morning on Sundays. Where the hell else are you going to get something like this????

Cutlery Corner

Not only do you get this sweet sword but you get all the knives behind Tom for TWO BUCKS!!!! and they throw in genuine leather sheaths for free. FREE, people! Get your asses online and load up your arsenal. You won't know who you were without it.