We Drink To FREEDOM Toast Here

Drunk guy: Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you're dead.
Drunk girl: What's that mean?
Drunk guy: It's an Irish toast.
Drunk girl: Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon.
Drunk guy: Huh?
Drunk girl: That's French toast.

Overheard in NYC by: Gradie Smith
Overheard In New York

Top 5 Christmas Highlights

1. My spankin' new computer. I'm so f-ing hi tech now.
2. Vacation time. I took off work between Christmas and New Years and I'm already all hyped about staying up late and watching Letterman. And waking up late. And watching daytime TV.
3. Watching people open presents. I really like giving gifts better than receiving them. And watching their reaction is part of it.
4. Playing with my new toys. I will dig out all my mending projects and get some practice with my new sewing machine.
5. Playing Blackjack at my parents' house. It's like playing at AC without the travel. I made $1.90

Does God Know About This?

A judge has ruled it unconstitutional to teach intelligent design as an alternative to evolution in a public school science classroom. Thank god! I mean, er, woo hoo!

On a side note, I went to Catholic school for 12 years and in biology class we were taught natural selection and the Big Bang Theory. I never questioned natural selection in a Catholic school. But now I see the irony.

Message to God: Hey man. I think you messed up with the pandas down here. They're animals that live in mountainous regions, right? And yet their primary food grows in tropical areas. Rather than letting nature run its course, we've got people down here at the World Wildlife Federation breeding them in captivity. Is that something you can handle? Or do I need to fill out a form for that?

There's a Sheet of Ice on the Parking Lot

Whenever the weather gets bad in the winter, people have the compulsion to go to the grocery store. The joke is that they go to stock up on milk and bread before they get snowed in, not knowing that milk and bread make nothing in the kitchen except soggy bread. A long shot would be french toast if you have eggs and electricity. The truth is that people actually do go to the grocery store...in droves. And they crowd the dairy aisle like there's no tomorrow.

Well last night was one of those nights. The forecast called for snow and ice and sleet and everything else in between. And I had to go to the grocery store. Thursday is my normal grocery store day anyway and I had to debate whether to go as part of my routine or to postpone until another day, just for the sake of sanity.

I decided not to betray my routine, as I often wind up in disaster if things don't go according to plan. So I left work early to get ahead on the wild traffic that would inevitably ensue, which of course backfired on me. It was everyone else's idea to leave work early as well and it took me nearly 40 minutes just to leave the city. It had been snowing for much of the day and it had just turned into ice before sundown, so traffic was incredibly slow moving. I decided to play it safe and stay in the right lane, I will not gamble with my life just to get to Giant earlier. By the time I passed Lewisberry, the ice was now rain and cars were a little more willing to drive faster. I made it to Giant by 6.30.

I think my decision for safety also got me there without major incident. Part of the reason I decide to go grocery shopping was because I was out of gas too. Knowing that I had to sit idle for much of my commute made me nervous, I hoped that I had enough fuel to at least make it there. So I decided to drive without turning the heat on. Yeah, seems drastic but the needle was actually on the last line and I had a slow 25 miles to go. Sure there were gas stations along the way but I didn't want to pull off and then contend with jerks who wouldn't let me back on the highway. Amazing, the needle stayed on the line the whole way to Queen St. I was lucky.

Of course I get to Giant and the place hasn't been plowed and no one put salt on the parking lot. So I practically ice skated from my car to the front door. But once inside I was amazed. Hardly anyone inside. I must've come late enough to have the huge crowds already checked out. I was able to get everything I needed, gas up, and get home in one piece. I don't highly recommend it, but if you have to go to the grocery store during a winter storm, I suggest going well after the snow has already started falling. And also go out and buy something other than milk and bread.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow

The forecast calls for snow tomorrow. Considering how cold it is today (12 degrees right now), the snow we could get will be super fluffy and pretty to watch. Joe is attempting to go snowboarding tonight. What a sucker! It's too cold for me to go snowboarding, even if I had warm clothes. It gets super cold when you're sitting on the lift for 5 minutes.

Our party on Saturday was a hit. I had a lot of fun and I think everyone enjoyed themselves. We served up great drinks and food and had a fun time with the trivia game and gift exchange. Who knew the phonograph Joe put together would be such a hit...

And dumbass Josh, of course, leaves his porn at our place. [shaking head]

Other highlights include:
* Barbie singing Frosty the Snowman and reveals that he actually has 2 noses.
* Aaron and Alisha dressing to the nines for our little shindig
* Having new people at our place for the first time, like Joe, Brett and Bobbi Jo
* Calyn getting locked out of her own apartment, thanks Paul!
* The group naming every poultry until they could figure out the Mr. Bean question
* The group breaking out into Deck the Halls, A Christmas Story-style

Baby It's Cold Outside!

I think we are finally going to get some snow. Allegedly 5 inches by morning, but we can never be sure. I'm debating whether to work closer to home tomorrow instead of trudging through traffic to get here. But then again, I checked UPS tracking and one of my gifts is suppose to arrive here at work tomorrow. Since tomorrow is Friday I don't want the gift to sit here all weekend long.

Hmmm...

I was thinking of trekking out into the cold tonight to get some shopping done for everyone else. It's going to be a rough night with the snow and other Christmas shoppers but I've done it before and vaguely remember coming out alive on the other end. So yes, I think I will do it and go out shopping tonight.

Does anyone have any ideas what a 20-something year old guy would want for Christmas? There aren't very many cool affordable things to get on the market this year. Thank god for Aquateen Hungerforce last year! If anyone has any ideas, let me know. I'll let you know how the shopping goes when I come back.

Alvin, Simon, Theodore!

I got my wisdom teeth extracted on Monday. Joe said he was surprised how fast it went. By the time he finished a 4 page article, the doctor came out to tell him we were done.

I cried when the anesthetist came out, I was scared of getting some big scary needle jabbed into my arm. It probably turned out to be a little needle that went into my hand. I don't know, I didn't look.

Joe took care of me all day Monday and he was surprised at how much I could eat. He said he wasn't in the mood to eat when he got his out. I was having apple sauce, jello, and tomato soup.

It's now Wednesday and I'm still sore and a little puffy. But thank god for drugs or else I wouldn't dream of coming to work today. But since it's the first of the month, I've got to get something started.