Make Sure You Look After Dad

So my mom is in Montreal for 2 weeks. And dad's at home doing who knows what. She asked me to visit a few times to make sure he's ok. Not that he's frail or anything, but just to make sure he eats and stuff. Which is fine, I can totally do that. In fact, I think I'll head over there today and make dinner. Jules says that he works nights so I have to make dinner that's refrigerate-overnight friendly. And I have to pack in a take-to-work friendly box. Ok, those are doable too.

But what's not doable is hanging out there if he's actually home. See, things are still a little strained. Things are definitely weird, especially knowing that he hangs in the balance of losing his cushey government job. I don't know what happened, but I'd venture to guess that the gambling problem he has is catching up with him. Karma's a bitch.

Anyway, things are weird because I don't know what to do when he's around anymore. Like we are totally different people now and we don't know each other anymore. Sometimes it's hard to believe that the same blood runs through our veins. It's very hard to believe.

I don't know if he's in trouble or if he needs help financially. No one knows for sure. He doesn't tell anyone, not even my mom. Like, he keeps everything very secret. All we know for sure is that he wakes up and goes to another job that he's taken to help pay the lawyer's retainer that may help him get his job back. And then he comes home. He's also still getting paid from the government while they are waiting on a decision to give him his security clearance back. And that's all we know.

I do feel bad but I don't know what to do. What can I do? It's just not right to ask him. He gets fidgety and then he looks down at the floor, shrugs, and mumbles something to the effect that he's ok. And I don't go any further than that. It's just too much stress to have to ask. It's just so awkward.

So I will go over there tonight after work to give him $35 for fixing the whirring noise that my car was making and make something for him eat. And that's as much father-daughter bonding that either of us can take.