Diet Dr. Pepper Really Does Taste Like Regular Dr. Pepper

I don't know about you, but I can't get used to the taste of diet food. There is a distinct flavor of chemicals in that food that I find it surprising that normal people with good judgment actually say they can't detect. I can tell diet food from a mile away, by taste alone. And I'm no expert. So I find it unusual that people can't taste the chemicals.

That stuff is not good for you, mark my words. If you read the ingredients and you can't pronounce them, why the hell should you eat it? And don't be fooled by the fancy scientific names. Science is not English (if you watch Alton Brown, you know what I mean) and therefore you should not consume food made by science. If it grows from the ground, comes from the ocean, or walks on land, then I think it's suitable for consumption.

Case in point: synthetic fats. Remember those WOW chips? I guess they made that stuff so that you won't actually get fat (which to me is the exact opposite of eating chips in the first place). But who wants to have the runs after you've eaten a couple of chips? That doesn't sound natural!

And the new nutrition facts item of the year: trans fats. Listen, this isn't a new thing they've come up with. Trans fats are the same as laboratory engineered fats and they've been using it since the days when they stopped frying stuff in lard. Trans fats aren't naturally processed by the human body, so don't be surprised if you have Olestra flashbacks.

Substitute sugar is also on my hit list. In my opinion, this is the main culprit of that suspicious "chemical taste". In most professional's opinion, sugar is actually better for you than those substitutes. I swear the fine print on the "pink packet" said that they found that the stuff caused tumors in lab rats. You can give me any taste test and I will still know diet soda from regular soda. I almost got fooled today when I opened a bottle of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. That stuff actually tasted alright. But I discovered that cold soda can do that to you. Just let it warm up so that it's not ice-cold and you'll tell that there's something weird about the taste. It's the substitute sugar.

Oh and by the way, Splenda isn't sugar. Don't believe them!

Next on my hit list: margarine. One of my friends insists she read somewhere that margarine is one molecule away from being plastic. While I can't vouch for this, I can say that it tastes like it's one molecule away from being plastic. In fact, I think margarine tastes too buttery that it doesn't taste like real butter any longer. They went through all lengths to come up with a healthier version of butter that they ended up making something worse.

And trust me, real butter tastes better. Real food tastes better. If you live an area where they still do things the old fashioned way, I recommend that you get out and taste what real food is. Hey, if it's not real...it's crap!!!

Otherwise, fly to France.

BTW, I'm no dietician. In fact I've gained a little weight in the last several year. But I also don't have serious problems with my internal organs.