Strange Attraction

For your information, I'm really pulling for a French win on Sunday. I really want Zidane to have his fairy-tale ending. I think he deserves it.

I find myself strangely drawn to the man. He seems like a genuinely normal guy, aside from the fact that he's filthy stinking rich. He has a normal wife and four normal kids. He looks great in clothes, like he could be a model. He looks even greater now that he's shaved his head, which now brings out his rough and tumble facial features. "Rough and tumble" looking guys were never my type, but there's something different about Zizou. It just suits him.

But I also get the feeling that behind the tough exterior, that he's a softy inside. Photos of him with his kids are so adorable. And then there are some cultural parallels that I feel like I share with him.

He's a child of Algerian immigrants, raised in Marseilles. The Algerian national team didn't want him because "he wasn't fast enough". So he chose to play for France. Yet the French president (underscore, emphasize, bold) said that more and more, he can't recognize a French face on the team. (The top players in the team are of non-French heritage) Talk about not being wanted!

Anyway, sometimes I feel like that just walking the streets in my own small town neighborhood. Being a minority sucks sometimes, like you're constantly being singled out as different. Yet I know that if I went to Vietnam, I would instantly be recognized as non-vietnamese. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong anywhere and anywhere I go, they won't see me as being one of them.

So the sense of belonging and doing something to show everyone that you belong somewhere is something I feel like Zidane is out there proving, with quite remarkable results. Being touted as possibly the best in the world of all time is no small feat. If only I could be as successful.

Anyway, Go France! Go Zizou!

I Know Nothing

It's official. My World Cup bracket sucks. None of my picks for the Semifinals made it through. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I don't.

My picks = Argentina, Czech Republic, England, Brazil.
Reality = Germany, Italy, Portugal, France.

Boy was I wrong about Czech Republic, they never even made it out of Group round. And I never factored France or Portugal to be in it at all. What the hell do I know? But looking at the final four, I think all four teams deserve to be there. It's going to be tough matches ahead.

You should log onto Boom Chicago to see The Unlikely Fan's World Cup videos. Daily commentary on the World Cup...It's hilarious.

God Save the Queen

God save our gracious Queen
Long live our noble queen
God save the queen
Send her victorious
Happy and glorious
Long to reign over us
God Save the Queen

Thy choicest gifts in store
On her be pleased to pour
Long may she reign
May she defend our laws
And ever give us cause
To sing with heart and voice
God save the Queen

COME ON ENGLAND!!!

The Hand of God

This is what Argentina needed today to win against Germany when Pekerman made some awful substitutions early in the game.

Messi and Saviola did not start. What!?
Then Abbondanzieri gets injured and has to sub out at a crucial time in the match. And then they sub out Riquelme?????? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!!!!!!

I had Argentina going all the way this year. ALL. THE. WAY.
I wouldn't have made this prediction if I knew their manager was a complete loon. Why do you sub out Riquelme when there's still 20 minutes and Ballack, Podolski, and Klose are still on the pitch?
I bet you feel like a real ass when minutes later, Klose equalizes.

And now you have to play extra time without your A game.

And now you are pitting Jens Lehman against your second goalkeeper? No contest. I knew what was going to happen when I saw your substitutions. I just knew it.

Way to go Pekerman. You blew it.

Breaking the Law!

Yes, he made a conscious decision not to get a license this year. Yes, it was a Sunday night. Yes, I was with him, of all days. So of course we got caught for fishing without a license. It was our fault and we admit it. But we've learned our lesson (a costly decision at $112 each), that even though a park ranger has never actually been seen monitoring the park in your entire life, you will get caught on the day you don't have one.

They're Dropping Like Flies

This past weekend, I attended one of Joe's cousin's wedding. Ryan was the last of the Metzger grandkids that was to get married in the family. Excuse me, SECOND to last. The last would be us. And boy did we know it. Every aunt and uncle made it a point to tell us that we were next to be married. Oy vey!

Patience, people! I promise your patience will be rewarded.

Let the Bounties Begin!!

I always liked international sports competition. I love the idea of pitting nation against nation in a non political way. Y'know? Love the Olympics. I remember cutting pieces of paper and sharpening my crayons to make flags of the countries that marched in the opening ceremonies.

And so too do I feel excitement when the World Cup comes around. I get all jittery when a country's hopes and dreams come down to one penalty kick. And all the pressure that kicker has on his shoulders can be unbearable, to the point where I feel bad for the guy that misses it. You know deep down in your heart that not only did he lose the game for the team, he also lost the game for a whole country.

And that's where the world talley of bounties rises. Let's face it, players have mysteriously died after losing games. And somewhere in a dark alley, bounty killers are making a buck. No one in the neighborhood wants to give up information on someone's offing. Noooo way.

I'll be keeping tabs on the South American teams during this competition. And keeping my fingers crossed that none of their games will have to come to a sudden death shoot out. Because it could indeed be sudden death for them, one way or another.

Movie Review: Everything Is Illuminated

Straight off the bat, I'm giving this movie 5 eggrolls out of 5. This movie is totally premium and does not have the shit between its ears.

Jonathan (Elijah Wood) is a young Jewish man on a journey to Ukraine in search of a lady he does not know about. With the help of a dodgy translator, Alex, his blind grandfather, also named Alex, and his seeing eye bitch, Jonathan finds how his grandfather was saved from Nazi invaders.

Although Elijah Wood is actually credited as the lead in the movie, I have to say that the main character to me is actually Alex, the translator. Played by Eugene Hutz (who is also the lead singer of gypsy punk band Gogol Bordello), Alex is a city kid with swagger. He likes American music and clothing, but his stodgy English can be attributed to Roget's thesaurus. He's also the narrator throughout the movie and while Jonathan is on a journey to find the lady that saved his grandfather, Alex makes some discoveries for himself.

This one packs comedy and drama all into one neat little package without seeming forced. Probably the only movie I can sit through that has strong Jewish/ Nazi themes. I highly recommend it and by the way, the movie is based on a novel by Jonathan Safran Foer (the "main character") and is the directorial debut of fellow actor Liev Schreiber (Scream, Manchurian Candidate, The Omen).

On a side note, Eugene Hutz was initially casted because he was Ukrainian but was able to finagle his band into a cameo. Russian folk music (which is quite fun to listen to) is laced throughout.

York County Has Pirates. Sort Of.

For realz, I saw a guy get into his car today. But the funny part is that he had an eye patch. Like, he wasn't trying to be a pirate. He really had an eye patch. Really.

I was thinking to myself as I watched him from my rear view mirror, "Really? You're going to drive that car? With one eye? Wow."

Language of Origin and Root Words

I will admit right up front that I would have been knocked out of the very early rounds of this year's national spelling bee. They aren't what they use to be back when I was in grade school. Nowadays, spelling bees are heavy on the medical jargon and foreign words adapted into the English language. Take for example the winning word and the 2nd place word: ursprache and weltschmerz. Both German words that have no English equivalents. I mean, they would have never done that 15 years ago. Words that I had to spell seem elementary compared. One time I actually won on the word "generosity". Way too easy compared to these spelling superheroes.

The passively competitive edge in me really wants to read up on some difficult words so I can feel like an 8th grader again.

A Weekend With My Parents

Really nowadays, I judge the success of a day with my parents by whether or not I come out alive on the other end. I had to spend the whole Memorial Day weekend with them and a good chunk of that time was in a minivan.

But I got to see my grampa for his 80th birthday party, which is probably the last time I'll see him.

Nevertheless, my mom and dad are your typical crazy parents with your typical crazy idiocyncracies. Like getting all worked up when playing cards. My dad gets all crazed in the eye when people play cards. And he acts like he knows how to "beat the system". And then my mom tells us that you have to show everyone how successful you are by dressing up and driving a fancy car at all times. That's just the tip of the iceberg, you have no idea what lies underneath.

Day of Rockoning: A Hypothetical Match Up Between American Idol's Taylor Hicks and Eurovision's Lordi

Take a good look at these musical reality TV contest winners and tell me who you think would come out of an epic battle in one piece.

Dave Chappelle vs. Chris Rock

Hands down, I think Chris is way funnier than Dave. I was fortunate to watch both men's stand up comedy DVD's back to back and Chris has better content. I totally get all the set ups and all the punchlines. I feel like I'm in the loop. And feeling like part of the gang is important to me. Er....

This I Know For Sure

Between you and me, we've agreed that in the song "Every Day is Exactly the Same", Trent Reznor is saying:

I used to have a porpoise

in the opening lines.

It's True.

I dye my hair black so I look more Asian. Sometimes I get the red or "orange" (and you know what I mean) highlights so I look like a hipster Asian.

Delayed Reaction

I know this is way past it's prime, but I just wanted to mention how bummed I was when I heard Rivers Cuomo got married. I had it in my mind in high school that I would meet him and we'd live like two peas in a pod. Unfortunately, some other Asian girl beat me to the punch and they married a few months ago.

On The Street

(ring ring)

Andy: Hey
Me: Hey what's up?
Andy: I beeped at some chick on the street with a hot ass and realized it was you.
Me: Oh that was you?
Andy: But you're probably used to that in the city, huh?
Me: Yeah, no kidding.

Movie Review: The 'Burbs

I've come to the conclusion that I much prefer the comedic version of Tom Hanks over the dramatic version. I always liked him in Splash, I saw that movie more than once. So I thought The 'Burbs kinda followed in the same vein.

I think the funniest scene was when the dog digs up a femur from the neighbors' back yard. When Tom's character and the neighbor starts yelling...and then they keep yelling...and then he keeps yelling, I really think that's funny for whatever reason.

Tom Hanks, I give you 4 eggrolls for The 'Burbs.

The Last Stand

In anticipation of X-Men 3, I like asking the question on everyone's mind. If you had a superpower, what would it be and why?

I'm torn between the self healing mutation (like Wolverine) and mind control (Professor X/ Jean Grey rock my world). I just can't decide. But I can tell you that I'd sure as hell be pissed if I got stuck with some lame ass mutation like just being big, burly and strong.

Anyway, I was just wondering what everyone else would pick.

Hey You! Yeah You! Go Fug Yourself!

Like fashion? Better yet, like fashion faux pas? Well have I got a site for you,honey.

Go Fug Yourself