A Weekend With My Parents

Really nowadays, I judge the success of a day with my parents by whether or not I come out alive on the other end. I had to spend the whole Memorial Day weekend with them and a good chunk of that time was in a minivan.

But I got to see my grampa for his 80th birthday party, which is probably the last time I'll see him.

Nevertheless, my mom and dad are your typical crazy parents with your typical crazy idiocyncracies. Like getting all worked up when playing cards. My dad gets all crazed in the eye when people play cards. And he acts like he knows how to "beat the system". And then my mom tells us that you have to show everyone how successful you are by dressing up and driving a fancy car at all times. That's just the tip of the iceberg, you have no idea what lies underneath.

Day of Rockoning: A Hypothetical Match Up Between American Idol's Taylor Hicks and Eurovision's Lordi

Take a good look at these musical reality TV contest winners and tell me who you think would come out of an epic battle in one piece.

Dave Chappelle vs. Chris Rock

Hands down, I think Chris is way funnier than Dave. I was fortunate to watch both men's stand up comedy DVD's back to back and Chris has better content. I totally get all the set ups and all the punchlines. I feel like I'm in the loop. And feeling like part of the gang is important to me. Er....

This I Know For Sure

Between you and me, we've agreed that in the song "Every Day is Exactly the Same", Trent Reznor is saying:

I used to have a porpoise

in the opening lines.

It's True.

I dye my hair black so I look more Asian. Sometimes I get the red or "orange" (and you know what I mean) highlights so I look like a hipster Asian.

Delayed Reaction

I know this is way past it's prime, but I just wanted to mention how bummed I was when I heard Rivers Cuomo got married. I had it in my mind in high school that I would meet him and we'd live like two peas in a pod. Unfortunately, some other Asian girl beat me to the punch and they married a few months ago.

On The Street

(ring ring)

Andy: Hey
Me: Hey what's up?
Andy: I beeped at some chick on the street with a hot ass and realized it was you.
Me: Oh that was you?
Andy: But you're probably used to that in the city, huh?
Me: Yeah, no kidding.

Movie Review: The 'Burbs

I've come to the conclusion that I much prefer the comedic version of Tom Hanks over the dramatic version. I always liked him in Splash, I saw that movie more than once. So I thought The 'Burbs kinda followed in the same vein.

I think the funniest scene was when the dog digs up a femur from the neighbors' back yard. When Tom's character and the neighbor starts yelling...and then they keep yelling...and then he keeps yelling, I really think that's funny for whatever reason.

Tom Hanks, I give you 4 eggrolls for The 'Burbs.

The Last Stand

In anticipation of X-Men 3, I like asking the question on everyone's mind. If you had a superpower, what would it be and why?

I'm torn between the self healing mutation (like Wolverine) and mind control (Professor X/ Jean Grey rock my world). I just can't decide. But I can tell you that I'd sure as hell be pissed if I got stuck with some lame ass mutation like just being big, burly and strong.

Anyway, I was just wondering what everyone else would pick.

Hey You! Yeah You! Go Fug Yourself!

Like fashion? Better yet, like fashion faux pas? Well have I got a site for you,honey.

Go Fug Yourself

Quintessential France

Years ago, I went on a family trip to France and the clever tour guide did one over on us. While explaining a very French thing to do in Paris, he pointed to the right side of tour bus at the Parisians outside sitting at small tables at the bistro. People watching. It's underrated here in America. Most people eat and go, never tasting their food or enjoying the time. It seemed so French, so clever, so essential to the ideal of joie de vivre.

And then he said there was something even more French. Just look to your left. And there it was. He was so clever to distract us with the bistros that we never noticed we had just pulled straight up to the Eiffel Tower. A move so clever, it produced gasps and oohs all around. A majestic site for sore eyes, I must say.

Nice One, Mate

Last week, Joe and I went to see the Supersuckers. And for some reason he thought 2 beer koozies for $5 was an incredible idea. Nevermind the fact that the slender beer bottles didn't fit the koozies that night, hey, they kept our brews cold throughout the show.

I can't attest to how good the show was. I was too tired to focus and I can't actually remember any of the show that night. But Joe has promised me that was great. Something about the Supersuckers Drive-By Blues, awesome, and sweet leads me to such a conclusion.

Let's "FACE" It

My mom's had some work done.

Therefore I will get some work done.

Nothing major. She just had a chemical peel, teeth bonded, eyebrows tattooed. The most major thing was the time she got that crease stitched into her eyelids. For one reason or another, when I tell people that my mom did these things they think it's weird. Like, "Only people in Hollywood do that stuff." But to me, it's not as bad as getting major work done like liposuction or implants. The other stuff just makes sense to me.

So there will be a day when I do some home improvement. I already have a list, in no particular order.

Teeth bleached
Underbite fixed
If there's laser surgery for cellulite, sign me up.

As my body changes through the years, I'm sure I will have different items on this list, but this is just for now.

ICE IT ... and get back in there!

I'm obsessed with this tag line. I pass by this print ad at Dunkin' Donuts every morning and I love it. LOVE IT!!!

The Little Apple

After spending 2 days in NYC under the wing of Dan the Man, I feel like the big intimidating city of New York isn't as big after all. I still have bad sense of direction and still didn't understand where I was going, but walking in the same neighborhood over and over again definitely helped me feel not so small.

There is definitely one thing for sure, there's too much to do. I felt like I wasn't doing what I wanted to do during my visit, but only because the choices are never ending. And if something didn't pan out, it didn't ruin your evening. Deciding on what to eat...forget it. You might as well agree to come up with a system to choose restaurants for you. But it's all the reason to keep coming back.

Among the highlights include strolling Central Park, going to 2 Broadway shows, pushing through Times Square, and trying to identify the celebrity on the blue carpet. And things went quite cheaply. All this really made me realize that the city wasn't for crazy people. Like, hey, this place is actually habitable. I could live here.

Maybe next time, I'll make it to downtown, eat at both Tiny Thai and Cozy Thai, do some shopping, and take in another museum.

Goat Days

Rainy weekends are disappointing for me. After staying in an office all week, I look forward to spending the weekends enjoying the sunshine. Today it is raining but it gives me good reason to clean the house and organize all the things that are lying around.

Here is my "to do" list:
1) vacuum upstairs
2) clean the cat puke I missed earlier this week
3) clean the bath tub
4) go thru the mail and pitch trash
5) put important papers in pile for filing
6) fold laundry
7) paint fingernails

What the Hell is That???

This is scary!!! Where is Wallace and Gromit when you need them?

Cartoon Sophalopalus

Yahoo gives you a chance to create an avatar. It's pretty cool. Think it looks like me?

Random Shite #8

I noticed those little orange and white striped signs on the side of 83 today. I suppose that means construction will soon start and PennDOT will make my daily commute royally shitty.

Anything tastes better when it's made with bacon.

I never have luck at the pump when I'm filling up. I seem to be attracted to the most expensive gas stations in York County.

Things I Highly Doubt:

The existence of "get rich quick" schemes
The reunion of Smashing Pumpkins
Me winning Powerball
Me getting a tax refund this year