Random Shite #7

One time my mom told me about a party she went to and they served slices of ham and cheese rolled together, cigar-style. She explained this to me with such zeal that you'd think she invented it. Joe tried really hard not to laugh.

Watching Jimmy Roberts' Olympic Moments is pretty much the same as watching Oprah. They're all sad stories that end up making me shed tears. Today's tear jerker was that of a young Turkish figure skater and the major sacrifices her parents made for her to pursue skating. Sniff sniff.

It ended up that the new job thing didn't work out. The money wasn't there and I can't really switch jobs for less money. We agreed to look at the opportunity again further down the road.

New Strategy for Shutting Down Wal-Mart

If you still shop at Wal-Mart for whatever reason (it's convenient, they have everything I need, it's affordable), there may be a reason to stop. If the fall of America isn't from the war, there may soon be a new reason. See if you can follow me on this.

Human cases of the deadly H5N1 virus (bird flu) has been documented in Iraq. Human cases, people! And how many American troops do we have in Iraq? Thousands? Well, every plane full of returning soldiers holds the potential of carrying those buggers back to the USA. And where will the virus show up?

Wal-Mart

Let's think about this for a moment.

When an American soldier returns to his home, what is the first thing he will do? The most American you can do, of course. Go to Wal-Mart. Any day now, bird flu will be tranmittable from human to human. And when that day comes, Wal-Mart will be teaming with virus within hours. And how many people walk through the doors of Wal-Mart on an hourly basis?

You get the drift.

Let's all do our part and stop going to Wal-Mart. The economy...and your health may depend on it.

CONSPIRACY!!

Something very strange happened to my blog about Wal-Mart. It mysteriously disappeared.

I will try to re-create the blog and re-publish. Damn you, censors!

Moving Up the Corporate Ladder

I'm totally stressed out lately. I have a major work dilemma. Never in my life have I ever had to quit a job because I had options. Usually I was being let go because of a merger or I had to leave because I was going away to college. You know, there were outside factors leading to my change in jobs. But I never left a job because I could. Well, that's my dilemma.

A former co-worker has offered me a position to work with her. She's in charge of way too many departments at the new place and needs help. This would normally be an easy decision but the problem is that I've begun to like my job and I really like my boss. There's a good bit of convenience since there is an office for me to work in across the street. Plus, it took a while to finally feel comfortable at my job and I would hate to uproot and try to fit into a new place. Yes, change scares me.

So that's my dilemma and I don't know what I want to do. I don't want to pass up a can't miss opportunity but I also feel like I'm not done with my current job yet.

Macarena is listed...TWICE!!!

If you ask me, this list is way lame. But here goes...

The Rules:

For this one, you need to go to musicoutfitters.com and type the year you graduated from high school into the search box.

Click on the link “Top 100 hits of… (your graduation year)” and cut and paste the results into your blog.

Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate and underline your favourite. Do nothing to the ones you don’t remember (or don’t care about)

Top 100 Hits of 1996 / Top 100 Songs of 1996

1. Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix), Los Del Rio
2. One Sweet Day, Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men
3. Because You Loved Me, Celine Dion
4. Nobody Knows, Tony Rich Project
5. Always Be My Baby, Mariah Carey
6. Give Me One Reason, Tracy Chapman
7. Tha Crossroads, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony
8. I Love You Always Forever, Donna Lewis
9. You're Makin' Me High / Let It Flow, Toni Braxton
10. Twisted, Keith Sweat
11. C'mon N' Ride It (The Train), Quad City Dj's
12. Missing, Everything But The Girl
13. Ironic, Alanis Morissette
14. Exhale (Shoop Shoop), Whitney Houston
15. Follow You Down / Til I Hear It From You, Gin Blossoms
16. Sittin' Up In My Room, Brandy
17. How Do U Want It / California Love, 2Pac
18. It's All Coming Back To Me Now, Celine Dion
19. Change The World, Eric Clapton
20. Hey Lover, LL Cool J
21. Loungin, LL Cool J
22. Insensitive, Jann Arden
23. Be My Lover, La Bouche
24. Name, Goo Goo Dolls
25. Who Will Save Your Soul, Jewel
26. Where Do You Go, No Mercy
27. I Can't Sleep Baby (If I), R. Kelly
28. Counting Blue Cars, Dishwalla
29. You Learn / You Oughta Know, Alanis Morissette
30. One Of Us, Joan Osborne
31. Wonder, Natalie Merchant
32. Not Gon' Cry, Mary J. Blige
33. Gangsta's Paradise, Coolio
34. Only You, 112 Featuring The Notorious B.I.G.
35. Down Low (Nobody Has To Know), R. Kelly
36. You're The One, SWV
37. Sweet Dreams, La Bouche
38. Before You Walk Out Of My Life / Like This And Like That, Monica
39. Breakfast At Tiffany's, Deep Blue Something
40. 1, 2, 3, 4 (Sumpin' New), Coolio
41. The World I Know, Collective Soul
42. No Diggity, BLACKstreet (Featuring Dr. Dre)
43. Anything, 3t
44. 1979, The Smashing Pumpkins
45. Diggin' On You, TLC
46. Why I Love You So Much / Ain't Nobody, Monica
47. Kissin' You, Total
48. Count On Me, Whitney Houston and Cece Winans
49. Fantasy, Mariah Carey
50. Time, Hootie and The Blowfish
51. You'll See, Madonna
52. Last Night, Az Yet
53. Mouth, Merril Bainbridge
54. The Earth, The Sun, The Rain, Color Me Badd
55. All The Things (Your Man Won't Do), Joe
56. Wonderwall, Oasis
57. Woo-hah!! Got You All In Check / Everything Remains Raw, Busta Rhymes
58. Tell Me, Groove Theory
59. Elevators (Me and You), Outkast
60. Hook, Blues Traveler
61. Doin It, LL Cool J
62. Fastlove, George Michael
63. Touch Me Tease Me, Case Featuring Foxxy Brown
64. Tonite's Tha Night, Kris Kross
65. Children, Robert Miles
66. Theme From Mission: Impossible, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen 67. Closer To Free, Bodeans
68. Just A Girl, No Doubt
69. If Your Girl Only Knew, Aaliyah
70. Lady, D'angelo
71. Key West Intermezzo (I Saw You First), John Mellencamp
72. Pony, Ginuwine
73. Nobody, Keith Sweat
74. Old Man and Me (When I Get To Heaven), Hootie and The Blowfish
75. If It Makes You Happy, Sheryl Crow
76. As I Lay Me Down, Sophie B. Hawkins
77. Keep On, Keepin' On, Mc Lyte
78. Jealousy, Natalie Merchant
79. I Want To Come Over, Melissa Etheridge
80. Who Do U Love, Deborah Cox
81. Un-Break My Heart, Toni Braxton
82. This Is Your Night, Amber
83. You Remind Me Of Something, R. Kelly
84. Runaway, Janet Jackson
85. Set U Free, Planet Soul
86. Hit Me Off, New Edition
87. No One Else, Total
88. My Boo, Ghost Town Dj's
89. Get Money, Junior M.A.F.I.A.
90. That Girl, Maxi Priest Featuring Shaggy
91. Po Pimp, Do Or Die
92. Until It Sleeps, Metallica
93. Hay, Crucial Conflict
94. Beautiful Life, Ace Of Base
95. Back For Good, Take That
96. I Got Id / Long Road, Pearl Jam
97. Soon As I Get Home, Faith Evans
98. Macarena, Los Del Rio
99. Only Wanna Be With You, Hootie and The Blowfish
100. Don't Cry, Seal

And The #1 Reason to Have A Camera Phone...

Just a few minutes ago, Joe and I were driving on Tyler Run Road when we saw flashing lights. Police Activity. But it's not what you think. A limo got beached on an incline trying to pull out of a driveway (or back into it, whichever).

Just when you think having a camera phone was a complete waste. We would've drove through extra slow and made sure those people saw us take their picture while laughing hysterically.

But alas, no camera phone, so I can't share with you the true hilarity of the situation. Sorry folks.

TNG

As in Star Trek: The Next Generation. Duh.

I was totally into TNG in my high school years. Every single episode was awesome in an after-school special kind of way. And who couldn't resist all those kick ass characters?


Who was the genius that told LeVar Burton to wear a banana clip over his eyes? BRILLIANT! I was so fascinated by the huge hive of hair the counselor had on her head, I would mentally debate whether it was real or just a wig. I was totally into Data, of all people. He was so smart and had such a curious personality. Warf was cool with his weird butt-like forehead. And of course, Capt. Jean-Luc Picard. He was the ultimate in sultry leadership.

This show rocks!

Pop Culture Files: Case Number 001

You might remember the totally heinous album by Stone Temple Pilots called Purple.

What you might not know about the cover art is that it was nicked from a Chinese red envelope given to children during Lunar New Year.

The Girl Who Spelled Freedom

When I was in 6th or 7th grade, I really related to this movie. It's about a girl from Southeast Asia who comes to America and becomes a spelling bee champ. I'm not FOB, but I am Asian and I did win some spelling bees in my day.

These Things Actually Happened to Me

While in Italy, a trio of Italian strangers asked if they could have a photo with me in front of the Spanish Steps. They obviously thought I was another famous movie star...ha!

Joe's off kilter uncle, upon meeting me, asked me what the exchange rate with the yen was nowadays.

A complete stranger attempted to speak Chinese to me at a bar, in front of a bunch of people. I had the dubious honor of telling him I had no idea what he said.

A crazy guy on a bike stopped me during my lunch time walk to ask me whether I was half Mexican.

Those Germans Have the Right Idea

While beer may be regarded in the USA as a drug just a few notches down the intoxicant ladder from heroin, it is more or less considered a soft drink in Germany.

Witness the hearty German construction worker knocking back a can of Pilsner on the underground on the way to work, having another with lunch, then celebrating the end of the working day with a third (brought along, with admirable foresight, in his knapsack) on the way home.

Expatica

Movie Review: The Station Agent

This was a good movie Joe and I rented thru Netflix and we were pleasantly surprised. It's about a midget named Finn who inherits an abandoned train depot. He tries to live a quiet life but ends up meeting a hot dog vendor and an unhinged artsy lady. That's about all I can tell you, there isn't really much more to the movie than that. But don't take it as though it's a boring movie, it's actually very good and you'll grow to like Finn as a person instead of treat him as a novelty.

This movie gets 4 eggrolls out of 5.

Random Shite #6

Harrisburg is the capitOl of Pennsylvania. Not the capitAl. That misspelling is all over Harrisburg (yes, even highway signs) and it drives me nuts!!!!!

I'm changing my movie review ratings. After hearing a story from Joe about Sirius radio's Wiseguys, I'm going to start using eggrolls to rate movies. Stay tuned for my review of The Station Agent.

MySpace is a bunch of crap! And yet there are a lot of people that use it. They just don't know the true power of Blogger. On a side note, I've added Joe's MySpace site to my links. Eh, go and see for yourself. Crap I tell you!

I have off for Martin Luther King Jr day and I plan to help Jules move apartments. If she so wishes for me to help her, that is. Other than that, possibly snowboard on some patchy hills and hopefully not bust my ass again. I took a nasty face plant on Monday.

Also, I'm blowing the cover and letting everyone know that there's a surprise birthday party for Manoni on Sunday. Expect a motley crue of folks coming by and partying on a Sunday night. I just noticed how old that makes me feel.

Sophalopalus, From A to Z

A is for Age:
27. I don't know how that happened.

B is for Booze of choice:
Bailey's on ice. But I drink cap'n'coke more often.

C is for Career:
Copy and Paster, frequent Button Pusher and Mouse Clicker.

D is for your Dog's name:
Dog's name would be Pibber, if only he existed.

E is for Essential items you use every day:
Couch. I can do just about anything on my big cushy couch.

F is for Favorite song at the moment:
Seriously? [Sigh] Uh, the first thing that popped in my mind is MCR's "I'm Not Okay".

G is for favorite Games:
I like Texas Hold 'Em a lot. But if I had to go old skool, I'd choose Centipede.

H is for Hometown:
York

I is for Instruments you play:
No instruments.

J is for Jam or Jelly you like:
I don't eat jam that often but if I had to choose, I'd pick strawberry.

K is for Kids:
No kids.

L is for Last kiss:
I'm sick so it had to be before Wednesday. Probably New Years Eve.

M is for Most admired trait:
Most people say I have the shiniest hair.

N is for Name of your crush:
Crush? Ha, that's just silly.

O is for Overnight hospital stays:
No hospital stays.

P is for phobias:
Drowning.

Q is for quotes you like:
"Let's get plastered and modify stuff".

R is for biggest Regret:
When Coach asked the class who doesn't want a class song, I should've raised my hand.

S is for Sweets of your choice:
I like fruity gummy candy.

T is for Time you wake up:
Alarm goes off at 6:30. I get out of bed at, like, 8:00.

U is for Underwear:
What's the question?

V is for Vegetable you love:
Cucumber

W is for Worst Habit:
Jittery legs.

X is for X-rays you've had:
My arms once. My upper and lower back multiple times. I have a lot of bone deformities.

Y is for Yummy food you make:
Egg rolls and ribs.

Z is for Zodiac sign:
Cancer

Review: Bubba Ho-Tep

It's about a nursing home that's haunted by a mummy who's looking for souls to suck through the butt. Who's gonna bust the living dead in this Texas home? Well, an elderly Elvis, of course. He's mistaken as one of those Elvis impersonators but the only person who believes he's really Elvis is a black man... who happens to think he's JFK.

The movie is sort of funny. The funniest bits are when the black man explains how he could possibly be JFK. They dyed him black to protect him from the assassins looking to finish him off and he's got a bag of sand for a brain.

If you're not into that kind of humor, this is probably not for you. But this one is worth renting.

Stabby McKnife

This year, I promise to do the following...

1. I'm going to start posting pictures. For real. I know, I've actually posted blogs referring to pictures that aren't even there. But for real now, in 2006 I'm really going to post pictures.

2. I'm going to start a fan page for these guys at Cutlery Corner. C'mon have you seen this show??? You don't know what you're missing. PAXTV channel 76 in my area at about 2:30 in the morning on Sundays. Where the hell else are you going to get something like this????

Cutlery Corner

Not only do you get this sweet sword but you get all the knives behind Tom for TWO BUCKS!!!! and they throw in genuine leather sheaths for free. FREE, people! Get your asses online and load up your arsenal. You won't know who you were without it.

We Drink To FREEDOM Toast Here

Drunk guy: Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you're dead.
Drunk girl: What's that mean?
Drunk guy: It's an Irish toast.
Drunk girl: Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon.
Drunk guy: Huh?
Drunk girl: That's French toast.

Overheard in NYC by: Gradie Smith
Overheard In New York

Top 5 Christmas Highlights

1. My spankin' new computer. I'm so f-ing hi tech now.
2. Vacation time. I took off work between Christmas and New Years and I'm already all hyped about staying up late and watching Letterman. And waking up late. And watching daytime TV.
3. Watching people open presents. I really like giving gifts better than receiving them. And watching their reaction is part of it.
4. Playing with my new toys. I will dig out all my mending projects and get some practice with my new sewing machine.
5. Playing Blackjack at my parents' house. It's like playing at AC without the travel. I made $1.90

Does God Know About This?

A judge has ruled it unconstitutional to teach intelligent design as an alternative to evolution in a public school science classroom. Thank god! I mean, er, woo hoo!

On a side note, I went to Catholic school for 12 years and in biology class we were taught natural selection and the Big Bang Theory. I never questioned natural selection in a Catholic school. But now I see the irony.

Message to God: Hey man. I think you messed up with the pandas down here. They're animals that live in mountainous regions, right? And yet their primary food grows in tropical areas. Rather than letting nature run its course, we've got people down here at the World Wildlife Federation breeding them in captivity. Is that something you can handle? Or do I need to fill out a form for that?

There's a Sheet of Ice on the Parking Lot

Whenever the weather gets bad in the winter, people have the compulsion to go to the grocery store. The joke is that they go to stock up on milk and bread before they get snowed in, not knowing that milk and bread make nothing in the kitchen except soggy bread. A long shot would be french toast if you have eggs and electricity. The truth is that people actually do go to the grocery store...in droves. And they crowd the dairy aisle like there's no tomorrow.

Well last night was one of those nights. The forecast called for snow and ice and sleet and everything else in between. And I had to go to the grocery store. Thursday is my normal grocery store day anyway and I had to debate whether to go as part of my routine or to postpone until another day, just for the sake of sanity.

I decided not to betray my routine, as I often wind up in disaster if things don't go according to plan. So I left work early to get ahead on the wild traffic that would inevitably ensue, which of course backfired on me. It was everyone else's idea to leave work early as well and it took me nearly 40 minutes just to leave the city. It had been snowing for much of the day and it had just turned into ice before sundown, so traffic was incredibly slow moving. I decided to play it safe and stay in the right lane, I will not gamble with my life just to get to Giant earlier. By the time I passed Lewisberry, the ice was now rain and cars were a little more willing to drive faster. I made it to Giant by 6.30.

I think my decision for safety also got me there without major incident. Part of the reason I decide to go grocery shopping was because I was out of gas too. Knowing that I had to sit idle for much of my commute made me nervous, I hoped that I had enough fuel to at least make it there. So I decided to drive without turning the heat on. Yeah, seems drastic but the needle was actually on the last line and I had a slow 25 miles to go. Sure there were gas stations along the way but I didn't want to pull off and then contend with jerks who wouldn't let me back on the highway. Amazing, the needle stayed on the line the whole way to Queen St. I was lucky.

Of course I get to Giant and the place hasn't been plowed and no one put salt on the parking lot. So I practically ice skated from my car to the front door. But once inside I was amazed. Hardly anyone inside. I must've come late enough to have the huge crowds already checked out. I was able to get everything I needed, gas up, and get home in one piece. I don't highly recommend it, but if you have to go to the grocery store during a winter storm, I suggest going well after the snow has already started falling. And also go out and buy something other than milk and bread.